Why success doesn't necessarily make you happy (and what does!)

Aug 1

Today I am calling out some bullshit. And it is about success. From a young age until we die, we’re given messages about what success in life is, and it is centred around hitting ‘milestones’ that will apparently bring a sense of happiness and fulfilment if we achieve them. It is fake news that we’ve all been sold.

Examples of ‘success’ in life

Excelling academically
Being thin
Choosing your career path
Meeting a soulmate
Buying a house
Buying a car
Having kids
Having a 2 week holiday every year
Getting promoted
Looking youthful

…Until you die?!

Happiness isn’t one-size-fits-all

These messages about success are all around in the books we read, the films we watch and the adverts we are shown. They promise that if we meet these milestones that we’ll live ‘happily ever after’. That is absolute ‘bullshit’. Happiness is not a ‘one size fits all’ for the entire population.

Motherhood, anxiety, PND and burnout

I had all of those milestones and more by the age of 30 and it didn’t make me live happily ever after. I suffered with anxiety, post-natal depression, bouts of boredom and a deep feeling of unfulfillment.

So many of my clients have all of these milestones too, often to the point of burning out and losing themselves in the process but it doesn’t bring them the sense of balance, happiness and fulfilment that they were promised.

The truth about success and happiness

Although those milestones might make you feel successful because you have achieved something that you have wanted, those milestones alone won’t make you live happily ever after.

And it’s time to stop expecting that they will.

Find out what makes you happy

It’s time for you to go on your own journey to find out what makes you happy and what YOU want for your life. Get really bespoke to you because no one knows what ticks your boxes other than YOU (not your bestie, your Dad and definitely not your mother-in-law).

How I got over my anxiety and become the happiest that I have ever felt

The milestones that worked for me and my clients on our way to finding happiness and fulfilment are;

Breaking up with my inner critic
Getting comfortable liking myself and having your own back
Cultivating solid self-worth
Doing things every day that light me up and show myself that I matter
Saying no to things unless it’s a hell-yes
Stopping people-pleasing
Stop assuming that I know what other people are thinking (especially if it’s always negative sh*t about me!)
Finding my purpose
Stopping being a martyr
Getting comfortable getting out of my comfort zone
Becoming besties with my body no matter what shape or size I am

Don’t be afraid to start living outside of the lines that you’ve been told to stay within, especially if the lines that you’re living within aren’t actually making you happy or fulfilled.